I'm an asshole and I know it.

There's something you need to know about me, I'm an extremist. Not in a political and definitely not in a religious sense. No I'm an extremist in that it's yes or no, it's black or white,  in short there's no middle ground; no grey area. No maybe.

If I'm out to party, expect to see me get home tomorrow, sometime in the afternoon. But then I won't go out for a month or two and in that time not even have a drink.

It's because of this attitude of no middle ground that I come with caveats. A set of rules or to use a better word, guidelines that you must adhere to in order to maintain any reasonable time in my company.

I'm difficult and I know it.

For instance I have a tendency to write things down on scraps of paper or empty boxes; anything that I can find in the vicinity when I need it. Phone numbers, account numbers etc. All if incredibly important; and it will be left there, wherever that is and I expect it to be there, exactly where I left it, when I need it, anywhere up to a month later. My wife has fallen foul of this "guideline" before, it must be said early in our relationship. We had many heated discussions before she gave up arguing and just saved anything with writing on it for when I needed it.

I like things done "my" way. As far as I'm concerned my way is best. I've spent my whole life developing "my" way to have the best possible result. To give an example, I get on the train at the door where I intend to get off, to save time on my journey.

 I entertained the idea of developing an app for people with a similar mind-set but in the end I couldn't be bothered. Which leads to something else you should know about me, I'm an ideas man. I literally have hundreds of them, all day. While I work my brain is off doing its own thing quietly, (sometimes not so quietly) solving the problems around me or around the world. I once had an idea for a 26 hour watch. You take 4 seconds from a minute and four minutes from an hour and you have an extra two hours a day. See what I mean.

The problem (one of) with having all these ideas is that I start a bunch of things and never get them finished. I'm great with the initial idea but the day to day running of it bores the shit out of me. The monotony of doing the same thing day after day bores me and boredom is not a good state for me because I tend to annoy the hell out of the people unlucky enough to be around me.

In addition to these, another trait that my loved ones try hard to tolerate is my total, complete belief that I can do whatever it is that I want. My 100% knowledge that nothing is out of my reach and that if I set my mind to something I can do it. The problem is that that is what I do. I can do anything. Not fantastically but do it nonetheless. Write a movie, yep, done it. Travelled the world, yep, done it. Wrote a book, yep, done it. Wrote and sold a TV show, yep, done it.

Do I say this to show off? No I say this to prove a point. The point is that I come from an average working class background, my parents working two jobs to make sure we had a roof over our heads and food on the table. To make sure we had a good education.

I don't come from money and I have done the things I've done by working for them. Working HARD. Nothing has been given without me earning it.

So it grates on me that people sit around on their ass and expect that the world owes them something. Or they say something like oh you're so lucky to have done those things. My response is "well that's funny because the harder I work the luckier I get."

I may not be the best at what I do but I'm prepared to work harder and longer than everyone to achieve what I want. Most people aren't prepared to do that and that's why they will never have what they want.

Opinionated, I hear you say. Yes indeed. Everybody has an opinion and I'm more than happy to be vocal about mine. I have a strong belief in my opinion and am always ready for a debate.

I also find it hard to admit that I'm wrong but will admit it if I see the error of my judgement. It doesn't happen very often though.

I will fight to defend what's mine both physical and mental. I won't idly stand by while a friend or a loved one is being threatened. Ever. And to that end if you cross me or try to fight me I will end you. I will not rest until I have done my utmost to make your life a complete misery. (Isn’t that right Qantas? I'm not finished with you fuckers yet.)

I suppose there are a few plus points that negate the negatives and I think my friends focus on those in order not to strangle the shit out of me when I'm going off on one about some slight or another.

I suppose in the end that the thing that really counts, that really matters is time. The time I devote to those that I really care for and about. I think that is the key to any real relationship. Even when you're the asshole of your group. Every group has one and for good or bad I'm their asshole.